Upon receiving a call from my brother that our mother had just passed away, it did not shock me so much, because I know my mama was old, that anytime, she would come to that point of truth, that is to rest from the tiring agony that the aged individuals compulsorily undergo and suffer.
In fact, I was even proud to think that my mom has that luxury of time spent in this world, with remarkable 86, nearing 87 years of temporal life! While others did not have that much…
I could just recall the statement of my doctor friend in his 50s, that he would be contented to reach 60 years of productive and happy life and die a peaceful death, not burdening his family; rather than living a longer years, but with diseased body and extreme pains and sufferings.
However when I was at rest, following that weekend, I decided to spend the day contemplating my bygone days with my mom. I felt like a child recalling wonderful childhood events with Mama, Papa, my two younger brothers and my elder sister.
In fairness to my father, when I was young, my mom was more of my “inspiration”, which I feel certainly safe in the “anchor of her love”. Her loving words “tenderly embraced” me, in times of fear and trouble, to comfort me. [But not discounting my father’s exceptional love through strict discipline that molded me to become “Strong-willed” person].
Sweet and sweeter to recall were the memories of the past, even the saddest and unfavorable ones, became “sweeter as the years go by”, when I associated them with the loving image of my mom and reechoing her tender-caring words of admonitions, and even the scolding love and apprehensions, when I commit notorious deeds against my brothers and my sister.
I began to feel missing my mom in reality and seriously! My heart sobbed and only long for the day to recall back to event, and or remake things into better and happier scenes; to honor her, to let her feel that I love her so much, and to thank her for being my mother.
I know and fully believe that my Real Mom-God would grant this childish wish, when the world is regained back in the hands of our Real Parent-God.
In honor of my Mom, I am happy to describe her this way:
God,
The Mother-God of the universe…
Mother,
The visible Mother-God on earth.
Who was my Mom to me?
TO me, she was the mother-god, who co-created me.
Mother, who reflects the true character of the God of love,
God, made visible in her beauty and personality.
When she conceived me in the womb of her love,
Shared her life, that I may come to life,
Laid into this world in tears and of pain,
In sacrifice, laid me on her breast, feed me her blood.
She was the light, when my eyes was first opened,
And I was a gem of joy, precious in her sight,
Mother and son happily bonding,
Memorable memories, as we walk and live together…
When I grew-up attempting for independence,
She was my angel of help in times of trouble,
Amidst confusion, of who I am, and what to be,
She was my mirror to behold, to emulate with certainty.
Furthermore, to honor my mom, I would like to share to you a story, quoted from the “Teacher’s Poem” by Teacher “Suk Sun” of a true
Life of a Mother-Swan:
The swan has lost even all her youth’s beautiful feathers on her chest,
Only for her young ones, while brooding her eggs,
And now has gone off afar to catch fish for her new-born.
However, without a net or even a fishing rod, how can she catch them with just her beak?
Using all her strength and barely catching one fish,
It looks appetizing.
With a mother’s exhausted stomach that had starved for a long time,
Her mouth waters out of hunger for the fish.
But thinking of her young she has left at home,
The mother merely returns home with it.
The mother swan only feeds her young but does not properly fill her stomach.
After raising her young in such a way for many days,
The mother swan has become thinner and thinner,
And weaker and weaker.
After raising her young in such a manner-one time, two times, and a third time, one after another,
The mother swan has become utterly exhausted and her body, a mess.
Before the cold winter comes,
She must move and live in the southern land far, far away,
But the mother swan cannot go for she has no strength and feels dizzy.
The mother swan gathers her young together,
And while forcing a smile, tenderly bids farewell saying,
“Children, mommy will remain here and live alone. So go over that warm southern land, don’t fight with one another, and loving each other, live happily for a long, long time.”
Again and again she instructs them.
For the remaining mere few days of her life,
The mother swan who sent off her young,
Weakly peeks around the bank of the pond, and on the ridge between the rice fields to look for something to eat while being exposed to the cold frost by herself.
And below an unknown hill, she quickly bows her head and breathes her last breath while praying again and again only that her last young would be well.
But her young do not even think about their mother, who has remained behind,
And all fly far, far away to the southern land,
Screaming in laughter by themselves, singing and dancing,
And seeking their own happiness
Without knowing that their mother who remained behind has already breathed her last breath.
The mother swan sits with her eyes closed
With an empty stomach that was unable to be filled for her whole life because of her children,
However, in her heart…
Holding onto an armful of love that was for her children,
Sits with a smile of satisfaction.
This is
The holy life of the beautiful and lovely angel swan.
My mama was indeed liken her life to that mother swan, in her dealing with the four of her beloved real children. (Not to discount her being a care-giver of her younger sisters through a handful of her nephews and nieces, prior to her marriage) Her life was full of sacrifices for our sake, because her marriage life with my Papa was mixed with unfavorable challenges, when my father left us to jail for almost three agonizing years nurturing us alone, doing the dual responsibility of being a father and a mother to us four, yet little kids.
As her children were grown-up, and have their own family, living in distant places, Mama and Papa were found to be like a childless couple. Unfortunately Papa went ahead in a tragic way, and Mama was left alone, insecure.
In fairness to my elder brother, Samson and nephew, Ronel, I would also like to acknowledge your sacrificial love towards our beloved Mama for taking care of her in our absence. Thank you very much for caring her to the end. God surely recompense you more, abundantly.
Though I was away from my mom for quite a long time, since I had my own family, but I was happy to think that she was well and alive.
Now that she is gone, I ‘l be missing her a lot, however I ultimately look forward to that wonderful, happy resurrection day, when every casualty of sin, [resulted by the heavenly and universal dispute] which affected the naive and innocent earthly children, would be restored back, and be compensated multiple times. Then Mama, Papa and the rest of my loved ones rejoined with us again under the one, big universal family of our Real Parent, God.
Then that would be the beginning of the real, permanent and “Eternal Life”. Glory to God!
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